Buying this will change your life. We will ship you a real life gorilla. you never have experienced the ineffable joy that will be unleased upon your state of being when the delivery driver stuffs this through your letterbox.
Not really real
Where we say real, we mean not real and no gorillas will be actually shipped to you. You will have to imagine that this gentle yet powerful ape is enriching your life.
The power of imagination
The more you believe that the gorilla is living with you, the more powerful you will become yourself. Give your gorilla a name, something fitting for a gorilla, something appropriate for a 600lb king. Something like Stuart, or Kevin or Arthur. Does yours identify as a female? Maybe Gertrude or Floella would suffice...